family

I Missed Your Funeral, Yesterday

I missed your funeral yesterday
Not convinced I could gather
Enough solid grief
To moor me steadily
Into wanting to
Remember you.

But then again
We were married
For a time
When the earth,
By your own admission,
Did not move
Beyond its dry rituals
Of undizzying speed
And long corridors.

I read your obituary
Sufficient in its dryness
Of names pulled from
The family files.

Mary, George, Anna,
Siblings who died,
I am told,
From boredom
And unkempt gardens.

Eric, Vince, Julia,
The children,
Who left our nest
Grateful to breathe
Their own air.

I continue
To cross-reference you,
Hoping, in the end,
That some bleak category
Will open a rusted charm
I gratefully missed.

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“Mademoiselle Chambon” The Isolated Drifter

Male Stereotypes: Fear of Commitment, Wanderlust, Speculator

I grew up in the 50s when the average man was traditionally stereotyped as the guy who was always running away from the gal who wanted to lasso him into the corral of a home, a basement, a lawn, a mortgage, two kids, a picket fence, a garage with an electric garage-door opener.

The “ball-and-chain” metaphor often drove the narrative of male fears that they would be “tied-down” for life, that their “salad days” of wine, women, and song would come to a swift and inevitable end at the marriage altar. (The culture I grew up in just assumed, by the way, that, except for nuns who were the virginal “brides of Christ,”all women wanted to be married; the men, on the other hand, were often seen as the great “procrastinators.”) Continue reading

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