I Missed Your Funeral, Yesterday

I missed your funeral yesterday
Not convinced I could gather
Enough solid grief
To moor me steadily
Into wanting to
Remember you.

But then again
We were married
For a time
When the earth,
By your own admission,
Did not move
Beyond its dry rituals
Of undizzying speed
And long corridors.

I read your obituary
Sufficient in its dryness
Of names pulled from
The family files.

Mary, George, Anna,
Siblings who died,
I am told,
From boredom
And unkempt gardens.

Eric, Vince, Julia,
The children,
Who left our nest
Grateful to breathe
Their own air.

I continue
To cross-reference you,
Hoping, in the end,
That some bleak category
Will open a rusted charm
I gratefully missed.


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